June 24, 2014

Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary office. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope & listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly & said, "I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away."

"Are you sure?" the distressed owner wailed. "Yes, I am sure the duck is dead" he replied. "How can you be so sure, I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around & left the room, & returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table & sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes & shook his head. The vet patted the dog & took it out, & returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table & also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly & strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman & said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys & produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$850!" she cried. "$850 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry, if you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report & the Cat Scan it's now "$850!"

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