May 23, 2012

The Prayer


I pray YOU'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer
When we lose our way

Lead us to a place
Guide us with YOUR grace
To a place where we'll be safe

A one where pain & sorrow will be ended
And every heart that's broken will be mended
And we'll remember we are all GOD's children
Reaching out to touch YOU
Reaching to the sky

Lead us to a place
Guide us with YOUR grace
To a place where we’ll be safe

There is only one word to describe those lyrics & that voice blended together ... WOW!

That performance is from the the American Idol Final 2012 but I actually posted her original version of this that she sang to reach the top 24 in a blog entry of mine entitled My PainFULL Journey! on April 19th, 2012 along with some other songs of Jessica's & even a few Colton Dixon songs who I think should have made it to the American Idol Final as well because he was so creative & unique.

If you haven't guessed already, Jessica Sanchez & Colton Dixon have been my favorites from the beginning!







And if you would  like to find any of the top 24 performances, just click on the American Idol YouTube Channel.

I'm no singer but I’m full of Faith, Hope, Joy, Love, & Peace.

I'd love for y'all to join me on my journey to encourage instead of discourage others & make someone’s day with a simple smile!

How?

The Twitter thing is @BrianPedroKeyes but it limits my freedom of expression to 140 characters but I'm trying that anyway but I still write notes on Facebook but what I'm really into now is this blog because I am The Florida Keyes!

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." — GALATIANS 6:9

"Así que no debemos cansarnos de hacer el bien; porque si no nos desanimamos, a su debido tiempo cosecharemos." ― GÁLATAS 6:9

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May 22, 2012

Don’t Worry, Be Happy! This Too Shall Pass! Why Smile? Why We Sing! Why Worry?



If you are thinking what my wife did after reading the title, you may want to grab me by the neck & tell me to stop already & give some answers!

Please don’t grab me by the neck as the ridiculous amount of titanium that resides there from 2 cervical fusions 5 years ago & 3 damaged discs from a car accident 2+ years ago are providing more than enough pain!

I began a drug trial for nerve pain several months ago with the hope that the intense pain that I now live with 24/7 would either cease to exist or at least decrease.

Throughout the last couple of years there have been many sleepless nights which cause the following days to be even harder than the last as the pain continues to increase. 

"Don’t Worry, Be Happy!" is a song by Bobby McFerrin & part of the first verse is so true.

In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy!

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." — Corrie ten Boom

When you think about how worry makes your trouble double & that it empties today of its strength, we may want to do all that we can to not worry.

Happiness is dependent on our circumstances, so I disagree slightly with Bobby McFerrin’s idea that just being happy will cure our worry.

However, joy is supernatural & is always available to us.

In fact, we are commanded to:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is GOD’s will for you in CHRIST JESUS." — 1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18


I had a poster in my room during my teenage years of a plant with a few drops of rain & verse 18 of 1 THESSALONIANS which states that we should "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is GOD’s will for you in CHRIST JESUS."

So, I should be thankful that my pain is entering excruciating levels I never thought were possible?

My interpretation is that I should continually be filled with the Joy of the HOLY SPIRIT by constant communication with the LORD which will enable me to be thankful for who GOD is.

 "This Too Shall Pass" is a song by OK Go & once again there is some wisdom within the lyrics.

You know you can't keep letting it get you down
And you can't keep dragging that dead weight around
Is it really all that much to lug around
Better run like hell when you hit the ground
When the morning comes
When the morning comes
Let it go, this too shall pass!

We need to let go of our worries because not doing so will affect our daily lives in a negative way by limiting what we can do & where we can go.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere." — Glenn Turner

"Why Smile?" is the first poem that I have written since high school which was 25 years ago & I was inspired to write it very early on Wednesday morning the 24th of March, 2010 as I became aware in a profound way that the looks on people's faces either increase the physical pain I am already battling & make me feel worse OR something as simple as a smile lifts my soul & encourages me to be filled with joy, love, & peace!

How did the LORD use a tiny baby bird I named Azulito to remind me of HIS care for me?

"Why We Sing!" by Kirk Franklin expresses beautifully why the LORD allowed my wife & I to encounter Azulito yesterday evening.

I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
HIS eye is on the sparrow
That's the reason why I sing!

"Early in the spring of 1905, my husband and I were sojourning in Elmira, New York. We contracted a deep friendship for a couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle—true saints of God. Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden for twenty years. Her husband was an incurable cripple who had to propel himself to and from his business in a wheel chair. Despite their afflictions, they lived happy Christian lives, bringing inspiration and comfort to all who knew them. One day while we were visiting with the Doolittles, my husband commented on their bright hopefulness and asked them for the secret of it. Mrs. Doolittle's reply was simple: "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me." The beauty of this simple expression of boundless faith gripped the hearts and fired the imagination of Dr. Martin and me. The hymn "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" was the outcome of that experience." — Civilla Martin

For my wife & I, the LORD’s eye was on Azulito last night when he fell 30-40 feet from a nest.

My wife Martha Luz heard Azulito crying & rescued him from getting run over by a car.

Both of us were touched profoundly at how this tiny bird who had been hurt in the fall was desperately trying to climb up a tree & return to his nest.

After several minutes of looking for the nest, I finally found what might be the nest. But, it was on a branch that was impossible for us to get to.

Since I had seen a Great White Egret enjoy a tasty baby duck for lunch yesterday afternoon & with there being a busy street along with cats & iguanas & maybe even an alligator in the area, we decided to take Azulito home & care for him.

We borrowed a nest from a duck on Lake Wolfe where we live & Azulito finally was resting comfortably in the confines of our screened back porch after enduring an incredibly stressful evening.


The tenderness in Azulito's eyes was absolutely amazing!

Eventually we took him to Everglades Outpost in Homestead last night as we have plans tomorrow which would keep us out of our home all day & a baby bird needs to be fed every 30 minutes!

Do you know what amazed me most about Azulito?

At first, Azulito was crying & did not want us anywhere near him.

But after I laid down on the ground next to him, Azulito actually stepped on top of Martha Luz's shoe.

I picked Azulito up & all he did was look up at me with those amazing, tender-filled eyes.

I truly believe that the LORD allowed Azulito to understand that we not only intended no harm, but wanted only the best for Azulito.

How do I know that is true?

From the moment Azulito was on my wife's shoe, he did not cry at all!

Not even a peep!

A side benefit of this was that the position I was carrying Azulito in was almost like cradling a baby with my arms bent 90 degrees. Over the last several weeks, that exact position causes an absurd amount of pain shooting down my neck, through my shoulder, & into my forearm.

Of course we had about a 15-20 minute walk remaining from the time I picked up Azulito so you can imagine the muscle spasms & multiplying pain that I endured to care for baby Azulito.

Why do I think that pain could possibly be a benefit?

I am so glad you asked!

"What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven." —  MATTHEW10:27-33

Our Heavenly FATHER arranged for my wife & I to be there to care for Azulito.

Something as simple as that was necessary for me.

I found out today that the Drug Trial for nerve pain that I have been participating in has now been terminated as it made the pain for me & many others much worse instead of better.

So I should now be filled with worry that there seems to be no end in sight?

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." — MATTHEW 6:25-34

92% of our worries are not legitimate.
40% never happen.
30% already happened.
22% are beyond our control.
That leaves only 8% of our worries being legitimate!

Why worry?
Why worry?
Why worry,

WHEN YOU CAN PRAY!

Why worry
About things you cannot change?

Why worry?
It only makes things worse!

Why worry?
Your power is very limited.
The power of GOD in JESUS is Unlimited.

Why worry,
When faith & hope in JESUS
Will cast out fear?

Why worry?
“He that is on the LORD’s side,
Who can be against him?”
ROMANS 8:31

Why worry,
When you can pray?

GOD ANSWERS PRAYER!
By Ken Pilcher, Jr.

May we all learn how to make worry a thing of the past in our lives!

May we encourage others to extinguish the worry in their lives.

Thank YOU JESUS for using such a precious creature as Azulito to remind me how much YOU care for all of us!

May the HOLY SPIRIT continue to develop the caring instincts within me so that YOUR Supernatural Joy, Love, & Peace would flow freely from within me to whomever YOU choose!

I love YOU GOD & I am humbled that YOU should love someone like me.

I shall say "¡Hasta luego pues!" with "Why Worry?"   by Dire Straits!

Baby, I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do, the things they say

But baby, I'll wipe away those bitter tears
I'll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into gray

Why worry?
There should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now?
Why worry now?

Baby, when I get down I turn to you
And you make sense of what I do
I know it isn't hard to say

But baby, just when this world seems mean and cold
Our love comes shining red and gold
And all the rest is by the way

Why worry?
There should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now?
Why worry now?

FYI ... HOW DO WE SOAR ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES? is the present story of how my wife & I are now caring for 8 English Call Ducklings whose Mum abandoned them & they will soon be doing all they were created to do, are we able to say the same thing?

This was a note that I originally published on Facebook Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 9:00pm EST!

Why am I sharing it now almost 2 years later?

I was inspired to share this on my blog from a brother in CHRIST that I have grown to love in a very short time as the HOLY SPIRIT has allowed us to connect & share some intimate details about our lives & as we share the good & the bad, we are able to continue praising JESUS because it doesn't matter what happens to any  of us, we must always praise JESUS & we should do so first thing in the morning!

It began with a simple message I sent to a few people the HOLY SPIRIT prompted me to share the following along with the last 4 blog entries:

We were created to praise the LORD but we have drifted away from HIS will at our own peril so praising JESUS is vital!

"Your nature is not the problem. The problem is that you have become alienated from your nature ― from your power source." ― Laurie Helgoe


I had an epiphany several weeks ago while out in the middle of the lake in my kayak that until I am somehow healed either via a supernatural miracle or via another surgery & some rehab ... I felt the LORD filling me with faith, hope, grace, joy, love, & peace to reach out to the few people who I see on the lake when I am in my kayak & enjoy the creation of the LORD & I have written a couple of blog entries which document this journey.


If this wilderness is to continue for me & my wife for however long it may be, all I may do is understand that the LORD will care for us each day, because HE is in the present where HIS presence resides.


My blog entries may be for me & me alone as a testimony in this time of challenge as physically I am in an increasing battle of pain that amazingly gets worse each day & for whatever reason, the LORD seems to have not given any wisdom in finding a doctor that will be able to help me ease some of the pain & do whatever it takes to be physically able for a 3rd neck surgery.


Thank you so much for your prayers for me & Martha Luz as we press on to win the prize & all I can do is ask that you praise the LORD in any & all circumstances of your life!

How then do we fly like an eagle?

The following 2 songs/videos are what my new brotha in CHRIST shared with me & now I want you to be blessed as well if the HOLY SPIRIT so desires to do so!



My physical pain increases every day but in a miraculous way the supernatural faith, grace, joy, love, & peace of JESUS becomes stronger & stronger & that is because JESUS is a 




 FATHER,
SON, &
HOLY SPIRIT!
  

May the GOD of hope fill you with all joy & peace as you trust in HIM, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the HOLY SPIRIT." — ROMANS 15:13  

"Que el Dios de la esperanza los llene de toda alegría y paz a ustedes que creen en él, para que rebosen de esperanza por el poder del Espíritu Santo." — ROMANOS 15:13

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May 20, 2012

BPK’s JAMAICAN JOURNAL



May 11, 1991 11:55 AM  Saturday
I am now sitting in the Daniel Iverson center for Christian Learning.  We are now supposed to be writing our personal testimony.  I really need to talk to Jim before I try to put together my testimony.  On May 8th I drove from St. Louis to Nashville to have dinner at Grace Presbyterian Church where I have the privilege of working this summer.  On the 9th Mr. & Mrs. Snider, Ben, Cheri, Andy, Stacey, Travis and myself left Nashville and headed toward Covenant College on top of Lookout Mountain.  Besides us picking up April & Shawna, I got the joy of seeing William Hudson Brock.  We then drove to PEF headquarters in Atlanta.  Our plane trip to Miami left at 9:00 PM & included a brief stop in Jacksonville.  We arrived in Miami around 11:35 PM & were picked up & taken to the house where I am presently.  If I were to step out of the front door I would be able to see the Orange Bowl which is two blocks away.  I am the leader of my friends Ben, Travis, & Andy.  We are staying at an apartment that is about ten minutes away.  As we go from here to the apartment we pass the building which is the headquarters of “Miami Vice.”  We ate at Cuban restaurants last night & this morning.  We spent a few hours at Miami Beach yesterday and are planning on going to Key Biscayne later today.  As we prepare for our Jamaican trip, my desire & prayers to serve God in all that I do are becoming reality instead of dreams.

May 15, 1991  2:52 PM  Wednesday
As I write today I have a ton of things to get caught up on.  On May 11th, the last time I had an opportunity to write, I did something that has been difficult for me to do in the past.  We went door to door in an apartment complex in one of the rough neighborhoods of Miami and handed out the “Wonderful Words of Life.”  After my initial hesitation I found myself enjoying it more & more each second.  I was even feeling comfortable as we began to go to the second door.  I met a man from Honduras there & had a short but interesting conversation.  Later that night we went to Key Biscayne & enjoyed a nice run on the beach.  We ate dinner in Coconut Grove along with about five thousand other people.  On Sunday May 12th, we went to a park where many homeless people live.  I was chosen to give my testimony in between singing & Greg’s preaching.  God, please bless those people & soften their hearts.  Lord, I also need you to continue to fill me with joy as I attempt to serve you above everything & others next.  We went to church at one of Mr. Snider’s former churches.  After lunch we watched “First Fruits” a movie about the beginning of the Moravian missionary movement.  Sunday evening we had a service at the center.  I met Eddie, who is from Nicaragua, & was blessed to spend close to an hour chatting with him.  I also, finally, had a fun talk with Leonora who lives at the center & is also from Nicaragua.  She had a beautiful girl of five years whose name was Javiara.  I am now more excited than ever for reaching & serving people FROM or IN Latin America.  Bill Iverson returned from Jamaica on Sunday & I asked him if there would be a chance to chat.  He asked me to help him make breakfast on Monday morning.  As he & I made breakfast, I shared my testimony & the reasons why I do not want to continue in the normal method of learning.  I expressed to him my desire to learn one on one in a situation where I will be able to use what I learn on a day to day basis.  My prayers of Sunday night were answered as Bill gave me an invitation to come to Miami & study.  There are sections of Miami that are literally mini-versions of countries.  In fact, the apartment we stayed at was in the middle of Little Havana.  The plane trip from Miami to Montego Bay took about an hour & twenty minutes.  Cuba looks very boring from the air.  A bus took as from Montego Bay to Runaway Bay where we stayed the night at Sunflower Villas.  Ken Snider arrived & took us to Ocho Rios to eat dinner at Shakey’s.  Cheri & I had a sharing & fellowship time Oceanside with lightning in the distance and the waves crashing against the rocks by our feet.  As I headed towards my villa, I saw one of the security guards & I was going to go talk with him until I saw another one.  After brushing my teeth, I went back out to share the Good News.  Out of a conversation between me & Clive, there were soon six other guys who were hearing what Jesus means to us.  I say us because eventually Andy & Ben joined in.  About an hour after the initial contact, I went to get the girls.  Fifteen minutes later I got Travis.  Travis & I woke up Ken to get some tracts & he looked delighted to see us.  All told, I spent around three hours with my new friends.  On Tuesday we went to Dunn River Falls & had a great time in the water.  Ben & I left the tour guide & the chain of people & went straight up the most difficult gorges we could find.  Even the guide said we were crazy to climb up the spots that we chose.  Of course we were barefooted.  We had fifteen minutes to spend at the market in Ocho Rios but it took me over thirty minutes to do all that I had to do.  We stuffed all our things into Ken’s vehicle & began our trip to Bethany Manse.  The countryside is similar to El Salvador but has its own very unique characteristics.  A lot of the people call us whities.  The view from Bethany Manse is simply awesome.  When we left to go to the houses we are staying at we left Andy or forgot him because he had ants in his pants.  Hasta luego.  Yeh Man.  Irie.

May 17th, 1991  8:08 AM  Friday
On Wednesday May 15th, Mr. Hyman drove Andy & me from his house to Bethany Manse.  We worked on crafts in the morning & finally had some free time to relax & let everything we have done & experienced soak in.  That night we had a service at Devon Missionary Church.  Andy gave his testimony(which is not really about him.)  I was filled with joy at hearing praises from the Jamaicans .  Yesterday was filled with plenty of exercise.  We walked from the Hyman’s to Bethany Manse.  Made wristbands in the morning followed by planning Bible studies for next week.  We then took a long walk to Devon school to invite the children to the service at 6:30 PM.  Ben & Shawnea tried to play cricket but instead got a lot of laughs out of the children & myself.  We handed out the “Wonderful Words of Life” there & on the way back to Bethany Manse.  We then ate lunch which included Red Snapper.  After lunch, we went to visit Bethany school & teacher Smith rounded up the children for an assembly.  The kids sang some songs, one being the Jamaican National Anthem.  All of us but Andy sat overlooking the valley & sang songs.  We decided to sing “Open Our Eyes Lord” at the service.  Ben, Shawnea & I wrote two more verses.  Many children from Devon school came to the service.  Dancy & I walked back to Bethany Manse.

May 20th, 1991  7:47 AM  Monday
On Friday, we went to visit the New Vision Children’s Home.  Before we helped them make leather name tags, I gave my testimony in story form.  During our short stay there, God rekindled my desire to someday be a house parent.  Brother Benson invited me to come down & spend some time working with him.  There are doors being opened to me now like I have never experienced before.  This has happened because I have finally given up all my wants in order to do whatever God’s will for me is.  The service at Devon on Friday night was very good.  The youth choir from Bethany sang five songs & sounded beautiful.  On Saturday, we went to Discovery Bay with about forty of the youth from Ken’s three churches Bethany, Mile Gully, & Top Hill.  It was a wonderful day with scattered clouds, a cool breeze, refreshing clear water, white sandy beaches & young people filled with joy & enthusiasm.  I swam for about an hour & played keep away for about three.  Sunday’s church service lasted almost four hours.  We quickly ate lunch & had a youth meeting & service that lasted until 9:00 PM.  Mr. Benson brought a movie & some of the children from the home.  Everything is irie.  Yeh man.

May 20th, 1991  8:58 PM  Monday
The walk up to Bethany Manse this morning was much cooler than yesterday.  We gave a devotion at Bethany school before breakfast & will do the same tomorrow & Wednesday.  It rained off & on all day long.  At times it rained so hard I thought we might wash away.  After breakfast, we bagged up beans, flour, & rice for the poor people of this area.  We had eight one hundred pound bags that Ken got on a trip to Kingston last week.  We returned to the school after lunch to lead a Bible study & make crafts.  It was quite an experience to keep a few hundred kids calm.  The service tonight was very small but quite effective.  Pastor Gary from Assembly of God in Christiana was the preacher & gave a well needed sermon on giving all to Jesus & trusting Him even when it does not look like He is working.  I had a chance to talk to a couple of girls who say they are working at becoming Christians.  I asked them to come to tomorrow’s service & told them to arrive early so we could talk.  They want to sit with me.  Lord, please give me the right words & fill me with a spirit like that of Jesus.

May 21st, 1991  8:48 PM  Tuesday
Tonight my joy & happiness has momentarily been turned into sadness because of my apparent unsuccessful attempt at being able to share with Shawna & Donna.  They arrived late, so the pew I was sitting in was already full.  They still showed some interest after the service but Shawna’s grandmother had to leave only three minutes into my conversation with them.  I need to focus more on God & His plan instead of my own.  I get so excited when things happen but fail to keep my spirits high when events move slower than I would like.  God, please grant me peace & happiness no matter what the circumstances.  This morning, Andy & I walked up to the school during a light rain.  We played cricket for a few minutes before we continued on to the Manse.  It has rained for two days straight with several downpours.  Paul, Cheri & Travis went down to the school to work on crafts.  I had time before dinner to work on some crafts for Ricky & Tena from the New Vision Children’s Home.  On Sunday, I had my picture taken with Tena.  I hope & pray that I get a chance to visit the Home again.  May God bless our last week here in Jamaica.

May 23rd, 1991  8:00 AM  Thursday
Praise God!  Yesterday was one of the most exciting days of the trip.  The rain continued until sunrise.  This caused teacher Smith to cancel school due to low attendance.  Andy, Dancy, Shawnea, Stacy, & I went to Greenville to pass out food & tell about the good news of Jesus Christ.  I talked to Ricky even though he had told Dancy that he did not want to see anyone.  I chatted with him for at least forty-five minutes.  He can not read so I told him I would try to send him the Bible on cassette.  I enjoyed the walk back as I took pictures of flowers & the kids playing in the mud.  The service last night was the best yet, as many of my prayers were answered.  I had a nice conversation with Elsa before the service.  Then to my surprise, she told me brother Benson had just arrived.  I hurried outside & have hugs to all my little friends.  I was especially happy to see Tena so I could give her a bracelet I had made for her.  I also showed her the name tag which is almost finished.  We sat together & enjoyed watching God’s Holy Spirit work in many lives.  Of the many people who came forward to pray were Shawna & Donna.  May I never again judge how the Spirit will move.  Prayer does change lives.  (Jillian, Kevon, Omar, Chris, Ricardo)

May 24th, 1991  7:47 AM  Friday
Yesterday was a glorious day here in Jamaica.  Scattered clouds and a cool breeze made being outside very enjoyable.  After breakfast, Cheri, Shawnea, Travis, & I took food & New Testaments to some children who are interested in joining the church.  I had the pleasure of meeting with Kerian.  On the way back to Bethany Manse, some girls who go to the Church of God asked me to take their picture.  I obliged & then told them about myself & the love God has for them.  They told me they would try to make tonight’s service.  In the afternoon, we attended a funeral which was very uplifting.  The service last night was very powerful.  The Bethany Youth Choir sang some songs & I again gave my testimony.  I read some verses from the book of Isaiah & the two preachers who followed me made mention of the same passages.  I seem to be feeling more comfortable with the people & have told many of them what a glorious day it will be when we are all together in heaven.  Ricky was at the service & I pray that God will touch his heart.  I finally got a picture wit Jillian & Violet.

May 25th, 1991  8:08 AM  Saturday
The days here in Jamaica get better & better each & every day.  Katherine, Millie, Shawnea, Stacey, & I went to Christiana, Mandeville, & Mile Gully.  The market was packed & included the meat section with every part imaginable in plain view.  It was a very long day as we returned to Bethany Manse at 3:30 PM.  Laverne fixed us our lunch & I ate until I could eat no more.  I went over to the church early to spend time with my many new friends.  My ability to be accepted by so many people is due to the Holy Spirit living & acting in my body the same way Jesus would.  I took a walk before the service with some of the youth choir.  We strolled down the road to the Shoppe running into Gary on the way.  After returning to the Manse, I had a long chat with Gary & I hope & pray that he will hear God’s voice speak to him.  I again sat with the choir during the service.  The girls I had met on Thursday did make it to the service & I had a very emotional conversation with one of them.  I am to visit her & her family after breakfast.  May God continue to use such an unworthy soul as I to proclaim His Holy Word!

May 26th, 1991  Sunday
It is now Sunday which means we have only three more days here at Bethany Manse.  Time does fly when you are having fun.  My visit with Narda Palmer & her family was very interesting.  I went with her to the Church of God to meet her father.  On the way back, I had an opportunity to share with Eugent who is an older man with a drinking problem.  May the Lord open his heart to the love & peace that Jesus has to offer.  Saturday afternoon was spent with the Bethany & Top Hill youth.  We started the day with a Love Feast.  Other events included crafts, Bible study, & recreation which were led by Andy, Shawnea, & me.  I was more of the photographer early than I was game leader.  There were about eighty-five children who participated.  Life here in Jamaica seems relatively simple but in fact is very complicated in the family.  Out of all the youth here yesterday, Ken told me that only one family all attend church.  May God work in the lives of the youth to show their families the need of being in the much larger & more important family of God.  As I write, I look out the dining room window, across the valley I see another church on top of a hill.  May God use these churches to spread the saving grace of Jesus to the people.

May 27th, 1991  9:26 AM  Monday
We have just returned from leading a devotional at Bethany school.  Yesterday was a long & productive day.  Stacey, Travis, & I were the teachers for ages eight thru twelve.  At the morning service, I read the Scripture reading which was 1 Corinthians 13.  After the service, many of the members came forward to rededicate themselves to Jesus Christ.  For lunch we went to Elaine Shields’ house in Mile Gully.  There were at least fifty people with plenty of food to spare.  Tonight we are to eat dinner  at Rocky Shields’ house in Mandeville.  We returned to the Manse around 6:00 PM.  This gave me some time to spend with the children.  At the service last night, the movie “A Cry from the Mountain” was shown.  It stressed the importance of having Jesus Christ in your life in order to have a successful family.  Several people came forward to admit to God how much they need Him in control.  In fact, I had the joy of talking to Ricky’s wife Beryil.  She apologized to me for not speaking to me the day I met Ricky.  We prayed together & God sent me His peace for my part in proclaiming His Word.  God, please continue to grant me the peace & joy I receive from You by following Your will & not my own selfish motives.

May 28th, 1991  10:30 AM  Tuesday
Devotions at Bethany school were very emotional this morning.  Tears came to my eyes as I said farewell to all the children.  Lord, keep those who believe strong & those who don’t, send Your Spirit to enter into each & every one of them.  Yesterday, we cleared some rocks off the road which had fallen down the hill.  Andy, Ben, Travis, & I played baseball before lunch with lots of blood shed on my part.  We returned to the school to finish the leather wrist bands after lunch.  It was quite an experience to stain a few hundred bands.  I asked Jello to sing a duet with me.  We practiced for a few minutes & will sing “Father I Adore You” in both English & Spanish at tonight’s service.  We had dinner at Rocky Shield’s house.  He has one of the most beautiful homes I have ever seen.  On the way there & back, Shawnea sat on one knee & Cheri on the other.  Sadness & happiness are intertwined in my whole being.  My sadness includes this being our last day here in the mountains of Jamaica.  An even deeper sorrow is for those who still do not believe that Jesus Christ died for their sins so they might have eternal life.  My joy is from God who has blessed me with an inner peace that is as calm as this majestic countryside.

May 29th, 1991  7:57 AM  Wednesday
Mr. Hyman just drove Andy & me up to Bethany Manse.  Yesterday was our last full day here in the mountains.  After lunch, a few of us walked to the crossroads to catch a taxi.  We went to visit the Children’s Home & I had the opportunity to play soccer with the children as well as talk to Brother Benson.  Several of the children rode with us back to the Manse.  I am really going to miss all of my many new friends.  The service last night was filled with many great songs.  Even some of the Jamaicans have caught on to my style of dancing.  I wish we would have kept going all night long.  My tears were all shed at school in the morning which enabled me to be happy on our last night.  Shelly, who goes to Bethany school, accepted Christ last night.  May God continue to work in the lives of those we have had contact with.  I pray that His Spirit will fill those who believe with a desire to tell others about the “Wonderful Words of Life.”  My lack of sustained sadness might be due to the fact that I will return very soon to Jamaica.  May God prepare me for what lies ahead & continue to reveal to me His will.  I have deep feelings for the people of this Island & know that God will use the experiences I have had here to further the expansion of His glorious Kingdom.

Tuesday July 16th, 1991  7:17 AM
It has been quite a long time since I last wrote.  I have been working at Grace Presbyterian church for a month & a half.  Besides going to Peg’s wedding last weekend, I had an opportunity to spend time with both Peg & Paul a couple of weeks before their wedding.  I am presently sitting at a picnic table in Henry Horton State Park.  We are here with nine girls & eight boys.  In the past, I have been unhappy about where I am because of my longing to be a missionary overseas.  I have been trying very hard to be joyful wherever I may be.  Instead of feeling depressed about not being where I would like to be, I have been trying to make the most of the time that I have for learning more about God & His plan for my life.  I have been spending a large portion of my money to acquire books that are helping me to become a better servant of God.  I am hopeful that by the end of August I will have an extensive library with a wide variety of topics & issues.  I have followed up on the opportunity to work at the New Vision Children’s Home in Jamaica.  I really hope to return to Jamaica but I have faith that whatever is God’s will for me, I will accept it & do my best to glorify His name.

Wednesday July 17th, 1991  7:15 AM
Surrendering all to Jesus is definitely more than a one time thing.  It is even more than a once a day thing.  It seems like I am in a continuous battle between the Spirit of Jesus which is inside me & the flesh.  Until I release hold of my desires & anxieties, I will not enjoy the joy & peace of God that is available to all of us.  Lord, I want to love You & trust You more & more each day.  The words of Daniel J. Iverson should be dwelled on.


“Spirit of the Living God”

Spirit of the living God; fall afresh on me.
Spirit of the living God; fall afresh on me.
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me.
Spirit of the living God; fall afresh on me.

We are in a constant process of surrendering our wills to that of a higher calling, the expansion & betterment of God’s glorious Kingdom.  Every minute of every day, we have to make a choice as to who we are gong to serve.  Are we going to serve the world & try to satisfy our sensual desires?  Are we going to serve God & put Him in front of all else?  I choose to serve God & deny myself of the temporary satisfaction that is readily available in this country.  My life, when I am living with the Holy Spirit as my guide, is one of excitement, adventure, & challenges.  Praise the Lord! 



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Discovering El Salvador!

Alone...

 A foreign country in the midst of a civil war.

Alone...

No one to call and not knowing where to go.

Alone...

Was I really alone sitting on the ground outside the airport? 

No, but GOD knew that I needed to be in the tiny country of El Salvador in June of 1990.

That summer I was on a flight from St. Louis, Missouri to the Central American country of El Salvador to join three other people for a two-week mission trip. 

Even though the United States government was warning American citizens about the dangers of traveling to El Salvador, I was on my way.


Due to the tense situation, my missionary friends were to meet me as I got off the plane to help walk me through immigration and customs. 

However, they were not there as I made my way from the plane to immigration. 

I proceeded from immigration to pick up my luggage and noticed some Salvadoran soldiers with grenades and machine guns who would not be able to legally drive a car in the United States as they were not even 16 years old. 

I tried to compose myself as I picked up my luggage and I made it through customs without a problem.


 

But now there was a big problem! 

I was sitting outside the airport with no one to call and not knowing where I should go. I wasn't really alone and when I realized the LORD was with me, I cried out to HIM in prayer...

"Heavenly FATHER, I know that I don't deserve for YOU to even listen to my prayer as I have not been living the way YOU desire Your children to live. But I know that YOU are listening to me as YOU brought me to El Salvador for a purpose. Please teach me and use me however YOU so desire."

45 minutes later, my missionary friends showed up and we were on our way. 

As we traveled through the war-ravaged hills of El Salvador, a spiritual yet physical heaviness began to fall off me. 

At the same time, joy and peace began changing who I was.



Who was I before the trip to El Salvador? 

I was a 23-year-old Christian who had stopped reading the Bible, stopped praying, stopped going to church and stopped fellowshipping with other believers. 

I was in the midst of almost five years of rebellion. 

I had gone from having a committed relationship to JESUS to spending my days chilling out listening to music and dancing the nights away at nightclubs. 

That lifestyle included almost any drug you can think of without having to use a needle.

However...

My Mom told me about a lady in our church who went on a short-term mission trip every year, the HOLY SPIRIT touched what had been a dying heart. 

The worldly influences which I had allowed to dominate my thought process were now in a battle with the LORD who despite my sinful living, still loved and cared for me.

I sent out letters to family and friends only a month before I needed the funds for the trip and I was convinced that GOD wanted me to go to El Salvador when enough money came in a couple of days before the deadline. 

A month later the HOLY SPIRIT was changing me through my discovery of El Salvador but...

I didn't realize that the biggest challenge yet was just around the corner. 

Would it be a tank rolling down the streets of the capital San Salvador?

Would it be an electrical tower that had been bombed and lay across the road?

Would it be a roadblock and a possible kidnapping or firing squad?



No, the challenge would be for me to spend two weeks building a playground at an orphanage in Santo Tomás, El Salvador.

Why would that be considered a challenge?

At that time of my life, I felt extremely uncomfortable around children. 

I didn't know how, nor did I have the desire to play with them or relate to them or talk to them. 

Truthfully, my tendency was to avoid children if at all possible.

I was amazed that upon arriving at the orphanage I had a desire to love those forgotten children. 

I tried to love them by doing several things with them such as playing soccer, helping them with homework, reading the Bible with them or singing praise and worship songs.

I became very disappointed as my attempt to love them felt dry and completely void of love. I found a solitary place and cried out to GOD...

“Oh FATHER, I long to love these kids but I don’t know how. Please help me to love them and treat them as JESUS would because HE is love."

A few moments later I was once again playing soccer, helping with homework, reading the Bible and singing praise and worship songs with the children but there was the unmistakable presence of love. 

JESUS was loving them through me and that moment is something that I will always remember.

During this life-changing trip for me, we spent some time after the first week reflecting together on what had happened. 

I broke down in tears with thoughts of only having a few more days with the precious children at the orphanage.

How could these kids who the world sees as the lowest of the low mean so much to me?

Their parents had either been killed in the war or abandoned them on the streets because of a drug problem or a life of prostitution or they may have been abused and placed in the orphanage because they were wanted by no one. 

They basically had a couple of different clothes options and if they were fortunate, a Bible. 

They didn’t have all the things that a child in the United States takes for granted. 

Yet, they had the joy and peace that the whole world is searching for.

How is that possible?

Those wonderful children taught me what I had long ago forgotten. 

The HOLY SPIRIT revealed to me through them that the joy & peace we all long for is only found in a personal relationship with JESUS CHRIST.

I was humbled that those children helped me to remember that the most important thing in this world is the SAVIOR — "The Savior" which in Spanish is "El Salvador!"


So, my discovery of El Salvador was twofold. 

Not only did I discover a country, but I also rediscovered my SAVIOR!

I love El Salvador!


"Trying to do the LORD's work in your own strength is the most confusing, exhausting, & tedious of all work. But when you are filled with the HOLY SPIRIT, then the ministry of JESUS just flows out of you." ― Corrie ten Boom

Thanks to Author Julia Greider Durango for helping me to edit this several years ago.

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